May 2022 Newsletter | Too Much of a Good Thing?
Posted May 2, 2022
By Andrew Schmidt, PhD, LCSW-R
Having very high standards can seem like a “superpower,” after all it probably pays off in lots of ways, especially at work and in trying to achieve goals. Telling others, “I’m a perfectionist,” is often said as a source of pride and shared to convey how important it is to do well and have very high standards—even higher standards than others have or that are even necessary.
After all, having very high standards can be helpful and in some contexts it really pays off. Just think how helpful it can be while at work preparing for that really important presentation, or when finishing up an essential and important task. However, “too much of a good thing” like perfectionism can end up causing significant problems.
So, how much is too much? There is a difference between striving for excellence and clinical perfectionism. Too much perfectionism can begin to backfire and cause unnecessary stress, worry and anxiety, add significant amounts of unnecessary time to tasks, and can cause friction in relationships with partners, family, friends, and colleagues. Sometimes perfectionism can be pleasurable to the individual, what we call “ego-syntonic”, meaning the person likes it because it reinforces their self-image. But perfectionism can wreak havoc on relationships with others and that can often be a reason for seeking treatment.
Some common symptoms and negative aspects of perfectionism are:
Feeling immense pressure to live up to very high expectations, either your own or others
Having unreasonable expectations for yourself and others
Having difficulty completing tasks in a timely manner, repeating tasks again and again until they are "just right," and/or avoiding doing tasks because of the risk of potential failure
Having difficulty moving past even small mistakes and viewing any mistake as proof of inadequacy or personal failure
Ruminating and self criticizing excessively
Believing that self worth and self esteem depend on achievement
Clinical perfectionism is considered “trans-diagnostic,” meaning it isn’t its own diagnosis in the DSM 5. Instead, clinical perfectionism can appear in a number of diagnostic categories. While therapists might most readily associate perfectionism with OCD, clinical perfectionism can show up alongside a number of additional issues including OCPD, Generalized Anxiety, Panic Disorder, Eating Disorders, Depression, Addiction, and others.
So, how do you know if you have “too much of a good thing”? Here are some questions from the Frost Multidimensional Perfectionism Scale (FMPS), a standardized measure of perfectionism:
If I do not set the highest standards for myself, I am likely to end up a second-rate person.
People will probably think less of me if I make a mistake.
I tend to get behind in my work because I repeat things over and over.
It's important for me that I be thoroughly competent in what I do.
If you think you might have “too much of a good thing,” the good news is that treatment is efficacious, effective, and available. Treatment usually begins with tracking how perfectionism shows up in your life. So, take note where your standards might be “too high” or surpass the idea of “striving for excellence.” Then note the effect this has on your life and on others to learn how it gets in the way and the negative effects it can have. Working with a therapist trained in this area, you can then design a plan to ease these standards and develop a new way to relate to your perfectionism. Your therapist might also work with you to develop an exposure plan and design alternative behaviors you can do instead. You and your therapist can also work together to change the way you think about having these excessively high standards and finding new ways to manage things. If you or someone you know could benefit from this treatment—help is available.
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We’re here to help! Feel free to reach out to a CCP therapist or to a therapist trained to help with these issues.