April 2025 | The Trap of “Feeling” Motivated
April 1, 2025
What is motivation? Perhaps ironically, it’s when we’re not feeling very motivated that we best know how it impacts our lives: that thing that propels us forward towards our goals, when missing, can leave us drained and maybe even a little hopeless. If we agree that motivation is a feeling then, putting on our CBT hats, we can also agree that it isn’t something we should let dictate our lives or our ability to accomplish things. Easier said than done, right? So how do we get in front of the feeling: how do we accomplish the task without needing the motivation to do so?
For a good example, we can look at writer’s block. There are many out there who don’t believe that writer’s block is a real thing but we’ll set that opinion aside for now. Those who do accept that writer’s block is real always give the same piece of advice for overcoming it: write. What this advice gets at is that writer’s block is all about how the writer feels, or rather, the fact that the writer feels bad in some way that is inhibiting their ability to do the action of writing. In order to overcome the feeling, the advice says: do the action anyway and, having done the action, you’ll have accomplished something, which will probably, in turn, make you feel more motivated.
The advice, in the end, is to focus not on the feeling but the action. It’s a reverse from how we traditionally think things should go, where feeling leads to action. Instead, action leads to (positive) feeling—motivation. This advice can be applied to a variety of situations. Know you should exercise but don’t really feel like it? Exercise anyway and you’ll be rewarded with good feelings (hello, endorphins). Need to get a big project done and feeling anxious/nervous/daunted by it? Break it down into smaller chunks and get one of those chunks done and see how that small win moves you through the other chunks.
We can often waste time simmering in our feelings. It’s not that feelings don’t matter; we live our lives in feelings and they can have a significant impact on us. Rather, it’s that feelings aren’t all that matter; actions are very important to living satisfying lives, too.
It’s important to keep in mind that everyone will come to this sort of advice from a different place. For some, it’s enough to hear ‘just set your feelings aside’ in order for them to take action. For others who may be dealing with past traumatic experiences or other concerns of a clinical nature, it’s going to take more to be able to start doing. If you are looking to overcome a lack of motivation, reach out to us. We offer supportive therapy that can help you start doing the things you want to do.